The Burnt Toast Theory

Just a few weeks back, a colleague said she had drawn her version of the famous picture "The Starry Night" by Vincent Van Gogh. This conversation pushed me to know more about two things: 1) The Starry Night and 2) Vincent Van Gogh. I have heard about them, yet never spent time to know them in detail. So, I thought this was the time I should read more about them.

Reading about the famous painter Van Gogh, I found that his life seemed like a series of setbacks. He endured mental illness, social rejection, and poverty, among other things. The painter sold just one painting during his lifetime. His paintings were mocked by critics, and Van Gogh was always financially dependent on his brother Theo. He lived in near-constant uncertainty, leading to a cycle of worsening mental health and deteriorating lifestyle. But those very struggles-the isolation, the intensity of his inner world, the desperate need to express what he couldn't communicate otherwise - drove him to develop that distinctive, emotionally raw style that makes his work so powerful today. His mental state, rather than simply being an obstacle, became inseparable from his artistic vision. The social rejection meant he painted purely for himself, without trying to please markets or critics. Without those struggles, we might never have gotten "Starry Night" or "The Potato Eaters" - works that came directly from his darkest periods. His apparent disasters were forging one of history's most influential artistic legacies, even though he never lived to see it recognized.

This is exactly what the "Burnt Toast Theory" talks about. This theory says that seemingly negative incidents can lead to positive outcomes. Let us see how. Assume you are about to leave for work, and you want to have a toast at breakfast. For some reason, the toast is burnt. What solution do you have? Either scrap it to eat or make another one. In either case, you would be spending some 10 minutes more than your planned schedule. As per the Theory, this 10 minutes of delay means that the universe is purposefully leading you to a new opportunity, or pushing you to a chance encounter, or preventing you from getting into something unpleasant. It forces you to start over, accept what has happened, and look for the hope in the situation. For example, you missed a flight, and later you find out that the flight crashed. Or you missed a bus, and at the bus stop, you met a person who is willing to refer you for your next big role. Or you fell ill and could not attend a business meeting, and later found out that in the meeting, the client allotted multiple work deadlines to whoever attended. This is the essence of burnt toast theory: the idea that life's small inconveniences and disappointments often redirect us toward better outcomes we wouldn't have encountered otherwise. It's become a popular framework for reframing daily frustrations, suggesting that missed trains, spilled coffee, and yes, burnt toast, might be protecting us from something worse or guiding us toward something better.

When I read about Van Gogh and then the Burnt Toast Theory, it all connected well. All the failures in Van Gogh's life led him to spend more and more time in isolation, hence producing some of the masterpieces that left the world in total awe for decades.

However, here's where burnt toast theory can burn us: it can too easily slip into toxic positivity, that insidious pressure to find the good in everything, no matter how painful or unjust. When my neighbour lost her job due to company downsizing, well-meaning friends immediately jumped to burnt toast explanations. "This is just redirecting you to something better!" they insisted. "Everything happens for a reason!" The person needed space to grieve the loss of work she loved, colleagues who felt like family, and financial security that had taken years to build. The immediate rush to reframe her pain as a gift felt dismissive and isolating. Some setbacks aren't small inconveniences – they're genuine losses that deserve acknowledgment, not instant repackaging as hidden blessings. The difference between healthy perspective-shifting and toxic positivity often lies in timing and choice. Burnt toast theory works best when we apply it to ourselves, after we've processed the initial disappointment, and only to situations where we genuinely can see a silver lining emerging. It becomes harmful when others impose it on us immediately after a loss, or when we use it to suppress legitimate feelings of disappointment, anger, or grief.

The theory is most helpful when applied to minor daily frustrations rather than major life traumas. It works well for - Missing transportation that leads to chance encounters. Getting lost and discovering new favorite places. Technology failures that force us into different approaches. Small social rejections that redirect us toward better connections. It's less appropriate for serious losses, systemic injustices, or situations where suggesting "everything happens for a reason" minimizes real harm or suffering.

If you too, have a Burnt Toast Moment, do share it with me! I promise I wont say "Everything happens for a reason"!!